The Four Gateways

Two yoga teachers contacted me this week asking my advice on how to respond to a condescending, patronizing, or rude email they received from another yoga teacher. These were two different situations involving different people and different emails, but evidently a common issue. An internet search on "email ettiquette" shows that people often write and send emails without reading them aloud to check the tone of the email.  Hastily composing an email tends to leave out words that convey a more polite or thoughtful tone, such as "please" and "thank you", and it also makes the email seem abrupt and angry.


I'm sure I've been guilty of this and have sent emails that express frustration, annoyance, superiority and self-righteousness.  I've discovered the hard way that emails with this tone don't accomplish anything, and venting doesn't make me feel better, either.  I've realized that my anger and annoyance is really at myself rather than the other person.  When I analyze the situation, I usually recognize that I'm angry because I made an incorrect assumption, glossed over important facts or ignored the truth hoping to avoid dealing with the matter.  I've learned that I need to be more aware of the tone of my communications and examine my intention in sending the email. I usually hit "delete" instead of "send" and call the person or arrange to meet them to talk it over.


Swami Dayananda, the spiritual head of Arsha Vdya Gurukulum, once said in explaining a passage from the Bhagavad-Gita, "It's okay to be angry, but not to inflict it on others. You should write it out to resolve it. Don't give someone a piece of your mind."
If you receive an email with a piece of someone's mind, act with compassion and understanding. Make sure that there is no misunderstanding between you.  Don't take it so personally. Ramanand once asked his students how we would react if someone called us an "arrogant pig".  The next day one of the students posed the question to Swami Dayananda. He answered, "Don't get involved in that conversation. Keep external objects external. Don't take them into your mind, and that way it won't bother you."


I'm sure many of us have heard of the Four Gateways of Speech, four questions to ask oneself before speaking:
(1) Is what I am about to say true?
(2) Is it kind?
(3) Is it necessary?
(4) Is my timing appropriate?

Renowned yoga teacher Judith Lasater and her husband, Ike, are co-authors of a helpful book on nonviolent communication called What We Say Matters.  Through the teachings of Marshall Rosenberg, their book explains how to find the truth and to speak it without violating the principle of nonviolence, even when that truth is painful. 

In Memory of Carrie Ruffra

Carrie Ormerod Ruffra was in Yoga East's 1996 class of teacher trainees.  She taught prenatal yoga at Baptist East Milestone for many years, was a massage therapist and trained in infant massage. She was found on July 4, 2012 at Otter Creek Park after having been missing for several hours.  Her death was ruled a suicide by drowning. I've talked to several people who knew her, and we are all baffled and saddened by the circumstances of her death.  She was a bubbly, cheerful, optimistic person who seemed to have many personal resources including lots of friends, a close, loving family, and a creative, artistic personality. She was very active, loved teaching yoga, and loved the outdoors and camping. Otter Creek Park was one of her favorite places.
Life is a mystery - sometimes there are no answers.

Practice for the Week of July 9-15 - Cooling Breath

There are several traditional pranayama (breathing) exercises which are cooling and refreshing. 

For all of these pranayama exercises, sit in a comfortable cross-legged position with the spine upright and chest open. Sit on folded blankets, a bolster or firm cushion to elevate the seat and relax the back.  You can also sit in a chair with the spine upright, and both feet on the floor. It might be helpful to support your back by placing a pillow behind you.  Rest your hands on the thighs or fold the hands in the lap - whichever feels most natural for you.  Keep the face soft and relaxed at all times. Make sure no strain is felt in the body or mind.

Sithali
Form a U-shape with your tongue and sip the breath in as if sipping through a straw; breathe out normally. Let the inhalations and exhalations be as extended as is comfortably possible. 

Sitkari
Some people are not able to make the U-shape with the tongue. Sitkari is an alternative form of cooling breath.  Touch the teeth together and touch the tip of the tongue behind the teeth and breathe in making a gentle hissing sound. The breath will feel cool. Breathe out normally.

Chandra Bhedhana (Moon Piercing Breath)
This is a form of alternate nostril breathing. With your right hand, use your thumb to gently press the right nostril closed and inhale only through the left nostril. Breathe out normally through both nostrils. This is one round of Chandra Bhedhana. You may start with five rounds and gradually increase the repetitions, making sure that no strain is felt.  Pranayama should always feel relaxing.

Stay cool, stay calm, stay centered.

The Importance of Home Practice

One of our students recently emailed me her home practice. First of all, I was impressed that she maintained a regular home practice. Secondly, I thought her home practice routine was excellent, so I taught it in our next class.  Another student asked for a copy of it, so here it is:

Susan's Practice:
Turn on music
Mountain Pose
Cherry picking
Standing side stretch
Shoulder rolls
Forward Bend
Sun Salutation with lunges 1-3 times depending on my strength (In Swenson’s book, Ashtanga Yoga, the sun salutation I do is my level [version] of Surya Namaskara B.)
Standing Postures (5 breaths):
Triangle
 Revolved Triangle
 Balance on one hand with one foot up (I don’t know the name of this; we have done it in class and I like it.) [It's Half-Moon Pose - Ardha Chandrasana - Laura]
 Warrior Posture
 Extended Side Angle Posture
Feet Spread Forward Bend (Prasarita Padatanasana) I really like this one, too!
Balance: Tree Pose (5 breaths)
Bridge with block on increasing levels
Happy Baby
Tea Cup Posture with Each Leg
Cat/Cow
Child’s Pose
Hero’s Pose (This is really hard for my knee even with props, but I am improving. JOY!)
Seated Spinal Twist
Seated Forward Bend
Cobbler’s Pose
Feet exercises (spreading toes and rocking each leg)
Feet up wall and then extending them over my hips (holding my hips up with my hands) and then bending my straight legs over my head so that they are pointing towards the wall behind my head (I don’t know what this asana is called.) [It's called Halasana - Plough Pose. Rest your legs on a chair if needed. - Laura]
Savasana with feet up wall and eye bag on.

It's so important to have a home practice in order to develop a strong, mature, asana practice. If you have a home practice, you can work on things that are challenging - at your own pace.  There are many important asanas we are not able to spend much time on in classes - certainly not as much time as is required to develop a level of ease in the asana. Shoulderstand (Sarvangasana) and Headstand (Shirshasana) come immediately to mind. 

For ways to practice at home we recommend books that we use for teacher training: Yoga the Iyengar Way by Mira Mehta; Light on Yoga by B.K.S. Iyengar for more intermediate students; and Relax and Renew by Judith Lasater for developing a restorative yoga practice.  Mysore Ashtanga students learn the Ashtanga sequence and practice at home when they are not able to attend class. 

If you have your own props at home, you are more likely to use them. Having your own set of props is important for a dedicated yoga student. I suggest that you have a sticky mat (of course!), two blankets, two 8 foot belts, an assortment of blocks and a bolster.  This prop set allows you to develop a restorative yoga practice, which is useful for those times when you are more tired or stressed than usual.

Practicing at home allows you more time for relaxation and meditation, too. Our delightful teacher Francois Raoult often reminds us that most of us need more restorative yoga and quiet, calming practices to offset the busy nature of our lives.  

Kudos to Susan Masters for maintaining a balanced home practice, which she says has brought her so many benefits!

God dwells in our heart in the form of light...

From an email sent to me by one of our Yoga East teachers, Lavenia McDaniel:

Experienced on so many levels…Thank You, Honor & Reverence to “all My Teachers” forever Grateful..
In the yoga shastra it is said that God dwells in our heart in the form of light, but this light is covered by six poisons: kama, krodha, moha, lobha, matsarya,and mada. These are desire, anger, delusion, greed, envy and sloth. When yoga practice is sustained with great diligence and dedication over a long period of time, the heat generated from it burns away these poisons, and the light of our inner nature shines forth.
Namaste

Click here to go to Lavenia's Mysore experiences page.

Gurupurnima - July 3

July 3 is the full moon day called Guru Purnima, the day traditionally set aside to honor the Guru. This day is chosen because the full moon of the month of July is considered to be the most perfect full moon of the year, and so it symbolizes the fullness and perfection that is the Guru and that the Guru brings forth in a true disciple.

What is a "Guru"?  The word has several means in the yoga tradition. The syllable "gu" means "darkness" and the syllable "ru" means "light", so it is said the Guru is one who leads us from the darkness of ignorance to the light of knowledge. The word "guru" also means "heavy", so the Guru is one whose presence in our lives is weighty, one who cannot be ignored or brushed aside.

I practiced and studied yoga for almost 25 years before I met my Guru. Back at that time, I thought I understood a lot about yoga, but when I met my Guru, I realized that I had only been skimming along the surface.  Through my association with my Guru, I have profoundly deepened my practice and understanding of yoga and that has transformed my life.  I now have a deeper appreciation for the love and wisdom I have received from so many people in my life.

My mother used to sing this rhyme:

I see the moon; the moon sees me.

The moon sees the one that I want to see.

God bless the moon and God bless me.

If I get to heaven and you're not there,

I'll wait for you on the golden stair.

Then all the angels in heaven will see

How much I love the one that I want to see.

When I see the beautiful full moon, I think of those people whose influence has made my life so rich and full of blessings: my family, my Guru,  my teachers and my students.

Happy, happy Gurupurnima!